According to my completely unscientific observations, the Prius C is officially the new car that people beat to shit most quickly

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
02/09/2018 at 16:43 • Filed to: None

We’re all intimately familiar with the Camry dent, where absent-minded Camry drivers dent up one of their plastic bumper covers and don’t give enough of a shit about their car to have it fixed. But behold, another Toyota has usurped the not giving a shit crown!

As far as I know, the Prius C is the cheapest brand-new hybrid car on sale in America. It’s basically a hybrid Yaris. It’s the perfect combination of (relatively) cheap, reliable, and fuel-efficient, for people who hate cars, and hate driving, but live somewhere like the suburban parts of Madison where I live and work, so they need to own and drive a car. But they want to devote as little mental and physical energy possible to the concept of owning, driving, fueling and maintaining a car, so they buy a Prius C.

I’m making all of these hypothetical over-generalizations about Prius C owners because I keep seeing beat to shit Prius Cs being driven extremely poorly around my particular corner of Madison. They have dents not only in the plastic bumper covers, but in multiple different sheetmetal panels. Dents that don’t look particularly new or like they’re going to be fixed anytime soon. And the drivers of these dented up Prius Cs seem to be woefully unequipped to handle even basic driving tasks like staying in lanes or making turns.

Therefore, I am now officially declaring the Prius C the official car for people who hate cars but need one anyway.

Runner up in the sweepstakes of the new car people destroy most quickly is the Mitsubishi Mirage, which ends up similarly destroyed as the Prius C, but probably for different reasons.

DISCUSSION (14)

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Textured Soy Protein
02/09/2018 at 16:45

Either going to be the Prius C or Chevy Cruze sedan. Both of those are going to become pieces of shit in the future, driven by methheads.

Textured Soy Protein > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever
02/09/2018 at 16:47

Median time to partial destruction of Prius C after taking delivery is roughly 7 months, and the Cruze is some period of time longer than that, according to the numbers I just made up.

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > Textured Soy Protein
02/09/2018 at 16:48

Because almost no one behind the wheel of a Prius understands how to drive.

Maxima Speed > Textured Soy Protein
02/09/2018 at 16:50

The chair recognizes the gentleman from Ohio, MaximaSpeed nods with sage wisdom, rising slowly from his seat “I second the motion from the gentleman from Wisconsin”

Textured Soy Protein > Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz)
02/09/2018 at 16:50

The base price of a Prius C is 88% of a regular Prius, so...

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Textured Soy Protein
02/09/2018 at 16:52

The Prius C is impressively light for what it is at only 2,500 lbs.

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > Textured Soy Protein
02/09/2018 at 16:55

So, cheap people who give 0 fucks and don’t know how to drive isn’t a good mix for not trashing a vehicle?? Say it ain’t so...

Ash78, voting early and often > Textured Soy Protein
02/09/2018 at 16:56

I see tons of the V, but almost none of the C. And I didn’t even realize the Mirage had been restyled. I’m sure they’re around, I just think my brain has blocked them out.

My vote is the Versa, especially the sedan. It’s like the new Aveo — the small car that’s cheap enough to buy new, but you’re too snobby to buy a Sonic or whatever. Because tiny cars are for poor people!

fintail > Textured Soy Protein
02/09/2018 at 16:57

A friend of mine needed a cheap commuter around 5 years ago when his miled up Accord V6 was crapping out, and leased a Prius C. He ended up loathing it - good mpg was more than offset by lowest common denominator electronics, and a depressingly numb driving experience. He’d park it under trees hoping a tree would fall on it, and hoped people would hit him when driving. He tried to lemon law it when the radio/nav got especially glitchy - no dice. He ended up terminating the lease early, and got into an MKZ of all things - which he liked a lot.

Textured Soy Protein > Ash78, voting early and often
02/09/2018 at 17:11

We went several years with no Mitsubishi dealership here in Madison. The one Mitsu dealer was attached to a Ford dealer that got out of the Mitsu business and converted the space to Ford commercial vehicles.

Last year an annoying buy here pay here place became a Mitsu franchise. I started seeing new Mirages rolling around pretty quickly after that. I saw one that was rear ended so hard the hatch had been completely caved in and it was like, 3 months after the place started selling Mitsubishis.

DFW's cars, Ferrari Dave’s thoughts on cars. > Textured Soy Protein
02/09/2018 at 18:00

is the Prius C.... the new Camry rear bumper dent? Dun dun.

Wacko > Textured Soy Protein
02/09/2018 at 18:06

Are you trump’s numbers guy?

Textured Soy Protein > Wacko
02/09/2018 at 21:07

I’m a Jewish hippie vegan weight lifter with 3 cats, so...

PyramidHat > Textured Soy Protein
02/09/2018 at 21:29

We have these at work to get to different buildings. My manager says that when you floor it, it doesn’t go faster, it just gets louder...